But You Don’t Look Autistic at All
$0.00
Autism—that’s being able to count matches really fast and knowing that 7 August 1984 was a Tuesday, right? Well, no. In this book, Bianca Toeps explains in great detail what life is like when you’re autistic.
She does this by looking at what science says about autism (and why some theories can go straight in the trash), but also by telling her own story and interviewing other autistics. Bianca talks in a refreshing and sometimes hilarious way about different situations autistic people encounter in daily life. She has some useful tips for non-autistic people too: what you should do if someone prefers not to look you in the eye, why it is sometimes better to communicate by email, and, most important of all, why it is not a compliment if you say: “But you don’t look autistic at all!”
JenG –
Clear and Funny and Relatable
I enjoyed reading this and am grateful Bianca Toeps is talking about her experiences. As a 70-year-old late diagnosis autistic I am glad that there are now points of reference like this book for others with autism to relate to and help their own understanding of themselves and how they, too, can navigate their lives. Thanks. It is a good read and a helpful example. And, again, I find it amusing.
tFL –
This book helped13 yr. old ASD girl
My daughter has ASD, ADHD, anxiety disorder, ODD, and emotional dysregulation. She is high-function and has hi IQ (of 135), but life has been so hard for the family. We have been with private therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists and IEP but it is so hard for her to understand how she is different and certain behaviors are hurting people around her and blocking her from success. She basically does not listen to almost everything other people say. Rigidity.This book made her less alone, and a sense of validity and empathy. This helped her to reduce her level of anxiety and stress. She felt something optimistic about her future too.My daughter started reading books when she was 3. I remember she read newspapers on a bus on the way to her preschool and loved books. But when she hit preteen age, all of a sudden she refused to read books. YouTube and video games are all she does these days. It has been very hard to get her to read books. But with this book, she grabbed it whenever we walked out of the house and kept it with her without being told.I have encouraged her to read many ASD or ADHD or anxiety-related books. Those books helped her to educate herself about her conditions, but it was a pain to make her finish them and she hated reading them. But to her, “But you don’t look autistic at all” was a meaningful experience and more like finding a friend she had never met.
Mark Bowles –
Read this if you have an autistic daughter or granddaughter!
This book is a collection of essays written by adult autistic women, reflecting on their childhoods and their education.Read the “Look Inside” to get a sense — if you have an autistic daughter or granddaughter, you’ll find something in here that will be worth the price.
EmeraldMagick –
Love feeling seen in books!
Wonderful and important book!
JRM –
The title says it all
If I had a nickel for every time I have been told “but you don’t look autistic,” I could have retired a long time ago. AND, I was only diagnosed 3 years ago!! There are so many “silent” diseases/conditions that you could apply this to. Just because someone doesn’t look sick or look disabled doesn’t mean he/she isn’t. I enjoyed the humor in this book and it was easy to relate to the author on many levels.
Valerie –
A book I’d ask others to read
This was incredibly well written while also being a very easy read. The author touched on, so many important aspects and history. I am so grateful for this book. It is one that I would give my parents of clients and one I would give my own family members to better understand myself and my daughter.
Ellen H –
#ActuallyAutistic
As someone who was diagnosed with autism at 52, I look for resources wherever I can. There is not much in the way of support out there for adults on the spectrum. This book is one of the best I’ve read yet. I like to highlight passages that are meaningful to me. Three quarters of the way through I realized that I had highlighted so much that I may as well just start over from the beginning! It’s entertaining as well as informative. Chapter 8 made me laugh so hard that I screenshotted it and sent it to all my friends. If you’re looking for information about autism from someone who is actually autistic, you should definitely read this book.
Jodi Erickson –
Fantastic information that has changed my life
As a parent of two children with autism I found this book to be revelatory. What a help in understanding what my kids deal with everyday. This helped me acknowledge and understand some behaviors that I had no idea or understanding of as a person who does not have autism. These things were just beyond my frame of reference. So many great discussions were a result of all that I was reading that I had to stop and seek out both my daughter and son to ask about what I read. I truly think it has helped my relationship with them. I am so thankful to the author for sharing her story!
Amazon Customer –
I got the book a year when I was still doing research on adult autism for a personal reason: I had suspected I have Asperger’s for a couple years. This book is almost a companion reading on my journey to get my official diagnosis. I feel grateful that a book like this exists. Bianca speaks her truth about being an autistic individual with a late ASD diagnosis in the book. I can relate so well to her story…and I feel less alone. Thank you, Bianca. Now I am going to live my life with a better understanding of myself. It is okay that I am different. I am still me.
Rick –
I found this book informative and an easy read.
Kati –
I found myself even more after reading unmasking autism and now this one, omg i have found so many good tools in my journey and info that has helped me so much. Thank you!!!
Manus –
As a male Aspie I surely wondered what the differences between “my” and the female characteristics of the autism spectrum could be – interesting to conclude that I mainly share those traits :DThe book is a well-balanced mix between (the needed) scientific background, the terminology of ASD, history and statistics as well as personal experience with the condition – by the author herself and some interviewees.As a person within the spectrum you may find this book quite relatable – including some enlightening “Wait, that was a symptom?!”-moments, despite the gender (in my opinion).As a non-autistic person you get very interesting insights about how people on the spectrum perceive and process the world, including their troubles and pitfalls but also how they deal with difficult situations on their own interesting way.If you want to get a view into the thoughts of (female) autistic people on a personal, not overly barren, way, then this is for you!
DANIEL RIBEIRO GOMES PEREIRA –
Very interesting to read about autism from an autistic author. If you like to learn more about others experiences, give it a try!